so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize