Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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