My first STD was from a foam party
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
please don't ironically join a cult
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