When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
