the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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