i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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