New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
