Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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