I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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