**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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