Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
