whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
