I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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