We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
