Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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