That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
