I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
