just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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