wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
