belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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