I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize