i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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