butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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