If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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