We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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