I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
