I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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