I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
