It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize