can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
