so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
