I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
