dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
