Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
