I want to walk on stilts...naked
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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