We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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