he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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