I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
