NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
