My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
