remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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