Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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