True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
