i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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