You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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