everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize