Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
