Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
