If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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