I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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