so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
