Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
