I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
