she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
