My balls are so social today.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
