You can't motorboat a personality
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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