And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
