My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
