I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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