I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
