I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
