You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
