i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
