Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
