On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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