There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this boner is exhausting
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
