I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up under a house in Key West
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
