I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
