Your tits are I can't wait for
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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