does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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