I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
