I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
