omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize