you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there's paper in my vomit.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
