youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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