dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize