I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
