who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
