his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
