This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
