We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
