So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
