D3 body, D1 cock
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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