I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
