rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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